Desk Prank that doesn't involve me...

Who knew? The mom has an assistant. He helps her 'work', whatever that is. He is not really HER assistant as much as he 'makes her life easier while running her department'. 

Honestly, I don't understand half the crap that comes out her mouth. It's all blahblahblah and I ignore it until I hear the words wet and food be strung together. Really, nothing else is important.

So anyway, a little while back, her 'assistant' went away for 'training' and was gone for like 2 weeks or 5 year or something. However long it was, in my opinion, it was way too long to voluntarily be away from my bunny and my socks so I would never do it. Beans are so freaky sometimes.

The mom and her people at 'work' decided that they were going to have fun with the 'assistant's' desk.They had a great deal of fun playing on his desk and would tease him with small details. And laugh and laugh and laugh. The last day before he came back, they took pictures and undid all the playing. And then refused to show him the pictures.

I am rubbing off on the mom, aren't I?

So the mom decided to let me post the pictures. I didn't want to but it was this or let her rub my belly.

NO ONE RUBS MY BELLY.

So, from the mom to her 'assistant:

The overall damage to the desk.

There was a new height requirement for his desk.

 

We created a new world map.

The green army and their battle triceratops attacked the blue army from the west.

On the eastern front, the red and gray armies fought for control of the main desk.

The keyboard was glitter bombed.

Ever increasingly embarrassing bodily mishaps were posted as his excuses for absences.

Sexy Putin watches over all.

The red army's air assault, which included brightly colored fighter jets.

A good overview of the eastern and western battle fronts. Includes a functional wooden helicopter.

His picture was posted all over the office.

Hey, Mr. Fancy Assistant Man:

If you are supposed to be 'making her life easier' how come I have never seen you? I mean, I am the most important thing in her life. Without me, she would just sit and stair at the walls or a book or something. You need to be focusing on me a bit more. The wet food is not going to plate itself up, you know. Salmon and tuna do not magically appear for my dinner. The litter boxes can always use a bit of attention. The stupid red dot seem to be lost and needs to be rounded up so I can chase it. If all else fails, remember this: Shrimp.

Get to it.

Just sayin.

And I Gently Coaxed Her to Turn on the Air Conditioner....

As a general rule, my Human Bean does not tolerate the house being too warm. I am lucky in this. She can live with it being pretty cold around here but if it get a little too warm, she turns on the air.

But this year, she has been on an extended campaign to "reduce our energy consumption" and has had the windows open for quite a while. During pollen season. In the South.

She has asthma. She has seasonal allergies. I have seasonal allergies. The Girl and the Runt both have seasonal allergies. We all are sneezy, snotty, and generally not feeling great. But the windows stayed open and the air stayed off.

Well tonight, I gently informed her that I had had enough with the runny nose.

There she was, sleeping like a wiggly worm as usual. As she lay on her side, almost on her stomach, I settled in on her shoulder so I could have a nice long conversation with her. I kissed her on her cheek. I purred my love for her in her ear. I let her hear my wheeziness. She scritched my ears, told me she loved me. We discussed the situation. And then I went in for the kill.

I let my runny nose drip down onto her neck. Cold. Wet. Nasty.

Yeah. I really did.

And so, at 4:30 am, the windows were closed, the air came on, the fan was set to run and clean the air. The humidity thing came out of the closet to dry out the house.

And the neck was scrubbed.