Honest to GOD: There is a ferret in the house!

Mom brought it home for us because she was away for YEARS seeing Grampa and Aunt Vanessa. It is a stupid ferret attached to a rolling ball. Mom put a battery in it and it has been rolling along around the house for about 4 hours now and we have lots track of it. Don't know where it is. Can't hear it, can't see it...lost it. We (me, the runt and the girl) thought it was interesting for a while and now we just don't care. And we just let it go where ever it wanted.

Hopefully it will show up soon.

Or else it will scare the poop out of mom during the night.

Oh and Hi, Aunt Vanessa!!!! Welcome Home!!!

And Happy Birthday, Grampa!!!!

Aunt Vanessa's home!!!! YAY!!!! She isn't in the bad place anymore!!!! Mom is going to see her....wait...ummm...Aunt Vanessa lives a way long way away and Mom is going to see Grampa and I have made that trip and he lives forever away...MOM IS LEAVING US!!!!

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Please, Mom, don't leave us! mumblemumblemumblemumble

Oh. Okay. mumblemumblemumblemumble

Mom is only going for a few days. She is coming home and she might bring us a new scratchy thing.

Love you, Aunt Vanessa. Love you, Gramma and Grampa. but I am not willing to ride in the car long enough to see you.

Aunt Vanessa is on a plane and she might get home really a lot earlier that we thought!!!!

We think everyone should celebrate:

http://www.fireworkspop.com/

ONE DAY TO GO !!!!!!!!

Tomorrow Aunt Vanessa will get on a plane and start heading home!!! And hopefully, if all the planes work and are on time, she will be home in 2 days.

Mommy cried when she was taking out Day 1 photos. But only a little. And she was happy. So YAY!

2 days to go

This chic named Kinsey stayed with us and she and Mom made pizza and cookies from scratch. Don't quite understand this. I think it means they made them with a bigger mess. Whatever.
So Aunt Vanessa loves pizza and makes her own pizza almost from scratch when she is home. And in 2 days she will be headed home. YAY!!!

Back to me: Mom didn't give us any of the yummies she and Kinsey made. We did get wet yummy goodness but I think it was so we wouldn't ask for some of the pizza. And another thing...there was a lot of laughter and I think they were laughing at us cats. What is up with that?

3 days to go

Mom is a dork. She sent this video to Aunt Vanessa with some dorky comment about always being there for her. *gag* Whatever. All I know is that I would love to get hold of one of those things. It would be like a catnip toy that fights back. I personally think that would be AWESOME!

Oh and can't wait for Aunt Vanessa to come home, blah, blah, blah.

4 days to go

So the girl and the runt have this (hmph *snort*) cute habit of getting in Mom's bathtub when it is dry and rolling around. They sometimes give themselves baths in there, too.

I know, dorkarama, right?

So Mom was trying to get a picture of it for Aunt Vanessa and could only get the girl to play in the tub.

And then as she was leaving to go to work (whatever) she noticed the war corner. Where a fierce battle for life and death has been waged: the cats versus the scratchy thing. Days ago we managed to get the scratchy thing out of its protective box and now we are bent on its total annihilation. We are doing a pretty good job of it too.
Mom left, muttering something about teaching us to use the vacuum.

What's a vacuum?

5 days to go

We are having a lazy, scratchy day. Just a little loving between the runt and Mom before she goes to work.

5 days until Aunt Vanessa starts coming home. There is a date and time and Gramma and Grampa are going to DC to get her and help her move. YAY.

PS I am noticing that the runt is showing up a lot in my blog. This distresses me but it is for Aunt Vanessa so I will put up with it. But once she gets home....

6 days to go

So Aunt Vanessa has a time and date that the government SAYS she will be in the US but we'll wait to see if they are right. In 6 days, Aunt V will leave the bad place to come home.

Yeah, Mom sent more food pics and taunts. She is such a mean person like that.

7 days to go

Mom started a new painting today. Which is weird. She normally doesn't paint at our house. We decided to help her out by making sure everything was set up right. I made sure the paper on the table was secure and the runt made sure the painting was secure on the stand.

ONE WEEK until Aunt Vanessa gets on a plane.

8 days to go

Instead of sending pictures, Mom sent aunt Vanessa a taunting email about all of the yummy foods she had for dinner. Note: she had them. She did not share. Instead she opened up three cans of wet yummy goodness for me, the runt and the girl so that we would leave her yummies alone.

Yes, it worked. We are pathetic slobs who love the wet yummy goodness with a passion that is as unbridled as the birds nesting outside our windows.

9 days to go

Mom was traveling on Day 9 also. So she sent Aunt Vanessa a goofy .gif.
Whatever.

10 days to go

Mom was traveling for work on Day 10 and was not able to send a Wonderful Amazing Cat Countdown picture. She sent something goofy instead.

Don't know what it was. But hey, Aunt Vanessa will start heading toward home in 10 days.

11 days to go

These little daily countdown signs...We love them. They crunch nicely and shred to maximum Mom annoyance.

12 days to go...

The runt sitting in Mom's laundry basket, on top of clean folded clothes. One of the many techniques for getting cat hair on absolutely everything she leaves the house wearing.

Oh and Aunt Vanessa will be getting on a plane in 12 days.

ETA - 13 Days and Counting

Well, the pictures say it all.... Looking forward to Aunt Vanessa coming home.

The Countdown Begins...

So Aunt Vanessa is coming home...not as quickly as we hoped but we have a date. July 26, 2010. So we are helping her count down the days!
I tried to be earnest and cute...
Forgive the quality. We hid the camera's memory card from Mom and she can't use her real camera, just the one on her phone.

What does Behavior Modification mean?

So I bit Mom today and she bled and cried. Whatever. I was a little mad that she was sitting on her butt and not cleaning my litter boxes. She cleaned the dishes in the kitchen, cleaned her clothes (boy will I be glad when her fur grows in) and took the trash out but didn't touch the poop. WTH??? So I bit her. She bled for a pretty long time.

Then she got on the computer and looked up "Aggressive Behavior Modification in Cats" on Google. WTH??? What does that mean? Something is wrong with me because she has lived with me for three years and doesn't know me yet? DUH, Mom. Whatever. Just you try to modify me. You did that one and I am on to you.

YOU WERE LOVING ON MY MOM!!!

That's what you were doing when I bit you. You were loving on MY MOM.

Love you, Mommy. Thank you for saving me from the plastic bag yesterday. You are the best Mommy ever. Could you go ahead and send the runt to Washington DC?

Mo is a Bully!!!

I am hijacking Mo's blog to tell you that he is a bully. A bitey, scratchy bully. Today, I was sitting next to Mom and talking to her and he came up behind me and BIT ME ON MY HINEY!!! Out of the blue. I did nothing to him, just talking to Mom.

He does that to me and Tus all the time. He chases Tus until she is screaming mad and has to hide. If he is cranky and irritated, he totally takes it out on us. Tus has a chance because she is about the same size but I am a lot smaller that his huge self and I have a bad leg and I think he picks on me because of it.

If Aunt Vanessa becomes my forever mom, I swear I am gonna have my Uncle Gus beat Mo up. Uncle Gus is HUGE!!! Like elephant huge and way bigger than Mo. Uncle Gus is kinda cranky too so he will be more than able to take on Mo.

I just thought you should know he is not always nice.

Ugh...I nommed too much...

Mommy leaves every day in search of food and is always gone ALL DAY and very seldom comes home with food. It can't be that hard. If you find food in a place one day, go back there the next. There is probably food there for more than one day. I just don't understand why she doesn't get this concept.

Well, she brought home food last night and gave us all wet stinky wonderful foods. And I nommed and nommed and nommed. I think I nommed too much.Whatever, I slept really well. And so did the girl and the runt. And Mommy but she didn't eat the wet yummy stuff, she has the nasty pink medicine so that her spider bites wouldn't itch.

She complained that we shouldn't get wet yummies because we hadn't killed the spiders like we are supposed to and they bit her a lot. But there are just too many of them and, let's face it, I am lazy except when I want to play.

What. Ever.

Mad Camouflage Skills: I have had them since I was 3 weeks old.
You can be in awe.

Lots of people are.

There's room for a few more.

Bring bacon. And shrimp. And catnip. And a bouncy ball.

That lazy Bean of mine! ugh, she closed down the laptop and she knows I can't open it.

So Wanna meet my family?This is my sister, Tus (aka the girl). She is two weeks younger than I am. She is a sleepy cat and sleeps way more than I do. She even fell asleep during one of our wrestling matches. She's cool, for a GIRL.This is Stumpy (aka the runt) and my Aunt Vanessa. Mom took two different pictures and put them together to make this one for Aunt Vanessa. Stumpy and Aunt Vanessa haven't seen each other too much. You can also see him staring at me with jealousy in the picture of me in my box. He is just over a year old, only weighs about 8 lbs. and has a bad leg. Couldn't tell it by the way he races around the house or the way he eats. We play a lot but he makes me so ANGRY when he goes and sleeps in Mom's arms. I mean, DUDE, that is my mom. She was mine first, I trained her and you might go live with Aunt Vanessa. DUDE. Just sayin'.
Well, I wish I had a picture of Mom. This is her avatar. She is cute, soft and has lots of squishy places for me to lay on and she knows when to scritch me on the ears and when not to. She generally buys good food but is kinda scroogey about givin' me the wet stuff. I do love her though. I let her know every now and then. But not too much. She will get complacent and slack off with the yummies.

Well, I will try to bite her on the butt more and get regular updates on here.

I'm okay now, no more snot.

Getting Mom to turn on the AC did the trick. I am no longer stuffy, sniffy or runny.

So I need to introduce my family:

The Girl is my sister Tus. She is okay. Not terribly smart but she is nice and fun.

The Runt is my brother, Stumpy. He is really small and had a bad, wonky leg. He is smart and he is ALWAYS loving on Mom. Sometimes this makes me really mad. He is actually Aunt Vanessa's kitty-boy but Aunt Vanessa is way far away and can't take care of Stumpy right now.

Pictures of them will come later. Because this is all about me.

And I Gently Coaxed Her to Turn on the Air Conditioner....

As a general rule, my Human Bean does not tolerate the house being too warm. I am lucky in this. She can live with it being pretty cold around here but if it get a little too warm, she turns on the air.

But this year, she has been on an extended campaign to "reduce our energy consumption" and has had the windows open for quite a while. During pollen season. In the South.

She has asthma. She has seasonal allergies. I have seasonal allergies. The Girl and the Runt both have seasonal allergies. We all are sneezy, snotty, and generally not feeling great. But the windows stayed open and the air stayed off.

Well tonight, I gently informed her that I had had enough with the runny nose.

There she was, sleeping like a wiggly worm as usual. As she lay on her side, almost on her stomach, I settled in on her shoulder so I could have a nice long conversation with her. I kissed her on her cheek. I purred my love for her in her ear. I let her hear my wheeziness. She scritched my ears, told me she loved me. We discussed the situation. And then I went in for the kill.

I let my runny nose drip down onto her neck. Cold. Wet. Nasty.

Yeah. I really did.

And so, at 4:30 am, the windows were closed, the air came on, the fan was set to run and clean the air. The humidity thing came out of the closet to dry out the house.

And the neck was scrubbed.